Wedding FAQs
Thursday, September 1, 2011 @ 23:26

Came across this pretty girl, Evonne. And on her blog, she came up with a wedding FAQ..

Her wedding was on 21 May 2011 & she jotted down some ideas + requisites and her hubby-to-be transformed it into… this! I editted abit la.. hehe!!

The wedding FAQ

What should I wear?
* Nothing white, this is very important, a very ugly replacement wardrobe will be prepared for people who wear white, and those who cannot read properly will be given ah pek glasses.
How much should I give for the ang pow?
* As much as your friendship/kinship is worth. The going rate of buying someone… off is about SGD $168 EACH. (for my case, S$108 should be enough. =D )
Paypal is accepted, please add in 3% handling fees to maggiepoy@hotmail.com.


Can I give you presents instead of angpows?
* No. Unless it is an additional USEFUL gift ON TOP of the angpow. We are the poor newly-weds.

I got your invitation, but I cannot make it, and I still want to give you guys an angpow cos I’m like so close.
* Your donations are well appreciated. We accept paypal (maggiepoy@hotmail.com) and iBanking (POSB Savings 189-30689-0)


If I cannot make it, after receiving the invitation, what should I do?
* Please notify us AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, it MAY save us a trip to Bangkok.


Can I perform instead of giving an angpow?
* If you have performed in front of more than 300 people, yes, you are welcomed. Or, if you are practising really hard just for the wedding, it would be great. In fact, we will contra your angpow and give YOU an angpow, you know how generous we are, sure earn one. Just do it.


Is it acceptable to cry at your wedding?
* Yes, but please, only happy crying.


Can I give a speech?
* Yes, speeches are welcome. Please confirm your attendance as soon as possible in order to avoid disappointment. Also, if your idea of a speech is to be impromptu, please prepare a larger angpow in advanced, so at least if your speech is not say fantastic, the other speakers will keep their mouth shut since you paid a premium.


Can I bring my partner(s)?
* Just bring, and let us know so we can arrangement the tables.


I’m very single, is there a possibility of meeting new people at your wedding?
* Yes, very much. Anyone who is NOT wearing a ring, you can go ahead and be friends.


Start with the classic lines (See insert A) and follow up with a “so how do you know Harald/Maggie?” and carry on asking his/her name. It is VERY important that you do a proper introduction, AND ask about “Harald” instead of “Maggie”, because there’s so much more to talk about Harald rather than Maggie. Plus if you are a guy, you will appear to look as reliable / good looking / cute as Harald, and if you are a girl, well, everyone knows Harald hangs out with cute/fun/friendly girls (like Maggie. Whahahahaha!!). The added plus point is, even if you fail, the target will just deem you as “one of Harald’s friends” so it’s still okay to hang out with you.

Insert A.

Non-embarassing questions for both genders.
- This place looks really grand doesn’t it?
- Could I get you a drink?- Haven’t I met you somewhere before?


Can I bring my own camera/DSLR/professionalism camera?
*Yes with the following conditions:

1. Do not block the ridiculously paid photographer. I will shoot you before you shoot anyone. =P
2. No blinding flashes.

Why am I not your brother/sister?
* Because, we cannot fit everybody into a room. Plus, brothers/sisters do all the shit work, that’s why they have been selected.

I’m a sister! What should I do?
* Wax/Shave your legs. Ditto to armpits. I won't know how to photoshop and I will just post everything online.. hehe!!


Will there be shark’s fin for your wedding dinner? Can I not eat it?
* Hello, we are chinese, chinese eat shark’s fins for wedding dinner. Will an angmoh stop eating big macs now that they figured that cows contribute the most to global warming? No. If you’re not going to eat your shark’s fin, please give it to the person next to you (or the BRIDE), it’s a lost cause, don’t let the poor shark die for nothing.


What should I do if the food served is not of acceptable hygiene standards?
* Screw the server, scold them until they get it right, talk to the chef, etc etc, it’s only Singaporean to do so since you are also paying for the dinner.


Should we expect an ang pow from you for the coming CNY?
* Whahahahahahahaha!!


I simply love your faq, can I copy some of it off and use it for my own blog/wedding/essay?
* Yes, imitation is the best form of flattery. Please remember to credit foxyseven cos I took it from her. =D